Tom: Intro: Ab Fm G Cm Verse 1: Ab Fm As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain G Cm I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain Ab Fm But that's just perfect for an Amish like me G Cm You know I shun fancy things like electricity Ab Fm At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows G Cm Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool Ab Fm And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that G Cm Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone Ab Fm I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline G Cm Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin Ab Fm But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine G Cm Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 Chorus 1: Ab Fm G Cm We been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise Ab Fm G Cm I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise Ab Fm G Cm It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise Ab Fm G Cm We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradise Verse 2: Ab Fm A local boy kicked me in the butt last week G Cm I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek Ab Fm I really don't care, in fact I wish him well G Cm 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell Ab Fm But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it G Cm An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of Ab Fm I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat G Cm And my homies agree I really look good in black fool Ab Fm If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears G Cm We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years Ab Fm But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare G Cm We're just technologically impaired Bridge: Ab Fm G Cm There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar not a single luxury Ab Fm G Cm Like Robinson Caruso it's as primitive as can be Chorus 2: Ab Fm G Cm We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm We're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm We don't fight, we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise Verse 3: Ab Fm Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter G Cm Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an 'utter Ab Fm Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? G Cm Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art Ab Fm I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like G Cm On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife Ab Fm So don't be vain and don't be whiny G Cm Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie Chorus 3: Ab Fm G Cm We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise Ab Fm G Cm But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise Outro: Ab Fm G Cm Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh Ab Fm G Cm Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
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