Life Sucks Then You Die

Tom : Ebm
Bb C F C F

[Verse]
F
My house burned down in a flash of thunder
C
My wife ran off with a one-legged plumber
Bb F
My crops fell dead when the riverbed went dry
F
My dog got squashed by a pickup truck
C
My son ran away and got hooked on drugs
Bb
My daughter's knocked up by the class of '85

[Chorus]
Bb
People say that life is good
F
It don't seem good to me
C
I'm lost without a paddle
F
And I'm headed up sh*t creek
Bb
People say that life is fun
F
But I don't know why
C
As far as I can tell
F
Life sucks then you die

[Verse 2]
F#
The government dumps its toxic waste
C#
Right on top of my mother's grave
B F#
A team of experts say it won't do her no harm
F#
But my sheep went crazy and killed my mule
C#
I cut off my d*ck with a power tool
B F#
Fixin' the hole where the meteor hit the barn. And it hurt, too!

[Chorus]
B
People say that life is good
F#
But I just piss and moan
C#
I got one foot on a banana peel
F#
The other in the Twilight Zone

[Instrumental]
  G      D        G       D        G
Let me hear some yeehah's out there!

[Verse 3]
G
I went to the store to buy some shells
D
My gun went off and blew the owner to h*ll
C G
Now I'm sittin' here in jail, singin' this song
G
And one guy wants to cut me with a knife
D
Another guy wants me to be his wife
C
I wish they'd hang me before somethin' really goes wrong!

[Chorus]
C
People say that life is good
G
Give thanks for what you have
D
When all you have is nothin'
G
Nothin' makes you glad

[Ending]
C
I said, people say that life is fun
G
But I don't know why
D
As far as I can tell
Life sucks!
Life sucks!
G D G
Life sucks, then you die. Let me hear some yeehah's out there!