The Birthday Song

Tom : E
  G#m  C#   F#m   B7  Emaj7   D#   G#m
Today's the day
C# F#m B7
That your mom's vag was on display
Emaj7
Your fat fuck-face slipped out
D#m
And I wish you would have stayed
G#m C#
'Cause it's just your birthday
F#m B7
Why do we even celebrate?
Emaj7
Screw your dinner party
D# G#m
I'll just stay home and masturbate
C# F#m B7
I went to CVS and bought the first card I saw
Emaj7 D#
It said congrats on that Torah reading
D#m
Fucking mazel tov
G#m C# F#m B7
I could've tried to get a reasonable gift
Emaj7
But you don't deserve it
D# Emaj7
And I don't really give a shit
G#m C# F#m B7
I didn't respond to the first RSVP
Emaj7
Take a hint you dumb broad
D#
And please stop reminding me
G#m C# F#m
'Cause we don't care that it's your birthday
B7
Don't you see?
Emaj7 D# D#m
So stop polluting us with all these photos on our feed
G#m C#
You're not a child anymore
F#m B7 Emaj7 E
You blew those candles like a whore
D#
N.C
I don't care that it's your birthday