The Chanukah Song

Tom:
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Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah
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It's so much fun-akkah, to celebrate Hanukkah,
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Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,
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Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
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When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
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Here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:
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David Lee Roth lights the menorah,
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So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
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Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli,
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Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.
(pause for giggle)
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Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too,
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Put them together... what a fine lookin' Jew!
D
You don't need "Deck the Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
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Cause you can spin the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!
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Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Hanukkah,
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The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.
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O.J. Simpson... not a Jew!
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But guess who is...Hall of Fame-er... Rod Carew... (he converted!)
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We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,
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Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish... not too shabby!
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Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
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Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges.
D
So many Jews are in show biz...
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Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is.
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Tell your friend Veronica, it's time you celebrate Hanukkah
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I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.
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So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your marajuanic-ah,
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If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
A
Hanukkah.