My Old Chair

Tom : C
C Em
My old chair
F G
Is like a big comfy friend
C Em
It's soft and it's fuzzy
F G
With a brownish orangey blend
C Em F G
But the padding is gone, and I'm sorry to say
C Em Fmaj7
I think it's time for me to throw my chair away
C Em F G
Ohhh nooo....

[Verse 2]
C Em
So I sit in you one last time
Fmaj7 G
I promise not to cry
C Em F G
Pull on your handle, then recline and say goodbye
C Em
So I put you out on the curb
F G
And I wish you good luck
C Em
Then I see a guy with a mullet drive by
F G
And put you in the back of his truck

[Chorus 1]
C G
And I hope that he'll be good to you
Am Fmaj7
Do the things that I couldn't do
C G
And I hope he gives you more than me
Am Fmaj7
I hope that he is good company
C G
But when I climb into my bed
Am Em
And I turn off the lights
F C Em F G
I'll be wondering, who is farting in your cushion tonight

[Verse 3]
C Em F G
I could always fart on you, you were always in the mood
C Em F G
Even that one summer when I was eating lots of Indian food
C Em F G
But I miss you more than ever and I know I'm to blame
C Em F G
I guess I can fart on the couch now, but baby it's just not the same

[Chorus 2]
C G
And I miss you baby ohh so much
Am Fmaj7
Your giant buttons and your velvet touch
C G
And I miss you more than anything
Am Fmaj7
The ball poking of your broken spring
C G Am Em
If loving a chair is wrong I don't wanna be right
F C Em F G
So I'm wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight

[Verse 4]
C Em
Do you remember the night
F G
We watched the movie Norbit
C Em
And everytime I broke wind
F G
You were happy to absorb it
C Em
And after I go jogging
F G
My sweaty ass would get your seat wet
C Em
And when I accidentally shat in my pants
F G
You kept it a secret

[Chorus 3]
C G
And I think that I should let you know
Am Fmaj7
I'm sorry that I let you go
C G
And everyday I hope I see
Am Fmaj7
My chair on the curb just waiting for me
C G
I dream about you all the time
Am Em
And I hope you're all right
F G C G Am Em
Thats why I'm wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight
F G C
Cause I wish it was me who is farting in your cushion tonight